The C.A.K.E. Gang

Last night was my first ever baking party. The premise is where everyone brings a recipe or two, prepares it and then at the end of the night we share our goodies. I've decided to call them the C.A.K.E. gang, where each letter represents each one of my friends who attended.

Receipe Line Up:
C planned to bake pumpkin bread for a bake sale, and peanut butter balls.
A planned to make chex mix and puppy chow.
K planned to make peanut brittle.
E planned to bake peppermint cookies.
I planned to make chocolate covered cherries and OREO truffles.

The attendees consisted of friends, I've had since high school. Some of them I have better relationships with, or can talk to them about specific life-related issues. Where others I'm still trying to figure out how to relate to them. And of course, three out of the four are newly weds as of 2008. The other is in a serious relationship, and then there is me....the one who's been single for eons.

C, is one of my dearest friends. She's the one I always go to, when I need real advise (she doesn't give you B.S.) or some insight to a current issue in my life...usually about relationships. C is currently in her last trimester of her pregnancy and was the first one out of our group to get married....and now the first one to have a child. Growing up, she was the first to do anything. For instance, she was the first to get her driver's license, then the first one to get a car, and she graduated high school early, then started college before the rest of us, and so on. However, out of our group, she's not a very good secret keeper and she'll even tell you this. During the years we were in college...I probably visited her the most out of everyone only because I knew I would always have a spectacular time! Through thick and thin through those 4 years we were there for each other.

A, is another newly wed as of September. I've known her for a shorter amount of time since C and I were in girl scouts from 4th grade to 9th grade. A's really level headed, is very intellectual, and seems to have a good grasp on life. She's a great person, but during our high school years, was when I really started to hang out with her more. I would say that our friendship is still developing.

K, is by far the friend I've known the longest. We grew up in the same neighborhood and were in the same classes from 4th grade through 6th grade and have stayed pretty close, post high school and college graduations. She got married right after C in March. Things in our lives changed for the both of us, during those 4 years that separated us from being high school grads to college graduates. As those things changed who we are today, they also broadened out perspectives on life and living.

E, is the friend who's in the serious relationship. I haven't really hung out with her on a one on one basis. C, A, and K all hung out together in the stage of our life where fitting in and finding your niche mattered most...in middle school and early high school. They shared different moments and experience which I was not apart of and they all attended the same church youth group and youth group trips. C and E also played soccer from an early age up through part of high school, so they have that bond which can't be broken. I'm still trying to figure out a commonality that we share but have not found one yet. Most times, I feel that there's an awkward space between us. And possibly, this could all be in my head. Either way, she's a friend I've found to be less comfortable around in smaller group settings.

Back to this evening. I thought, I'd be fine, "just hanging with the C.A.K.E. gang." All relationship statuses aside, but when a gathering occurs with the C.A.K.E. gang, who are at a similar stage in their life, the conversation always leads to...babies, the next one to become pregnant, weddings, the next person to get married, and so on. So at one point this evening, I bowed out for a while...due to the previous 2 hours, I hadn't contributed anything to their conversation (and it's not like they tried to include me either). But alas, I was the odd "ball" out...which, just so happened was the word for the night.

It was nice to actually see my friends, but when they're always talking about how their husbands are like this, or like that, or how they're sloppy, or how they have certain chores to do, or they pay for specific bills...it's makes me want to leave the situation. To just remove myself...since I feel like I don't even exist in those moments. I also think, that if I weren't there, they wouldn't even care or acknowledge that I ever existed. If it would have been at one of their places, I would have called it an early night and made up some excuse to leave. My time's precious and to have it filled with things that I can't participate in on...it's a waste. I'm just a little bitter. Being single may be great to have the freedom and attitude to "not have a care in the world" may seem like bliss for other people. But when this writer, she wants something more than a lot of first dates and indecisive men.